Understanding your Highest Emotional Need: The Seven Primal Question
Standing at the sink, my mind wandered faster than expected, through a series of memories. The mop bucked filled with steaming hot water. The house slept. A rush of hot tears filled my eyes. Unprepared, unexpectedly, I felt the sting and I saw the dots connecting. I sat in it for a moment, and then moved on. Have you been there? At a stoplight, in the shower, or out for a jog and your mind wanders faster than expected connecting the dots to points of pain completely unplanned, and unprepared — there’s a rush of emotions.
Understanding your Highest Emotional Need
Do you take the time to acknowledge the sting or push on by?
What is it telling you?
What was the path of thoughts that brought you here unexpectedly?
What emotions arise?
Why?
What if your mind isn’t wandering.
What if it’s leading you somewhere — on purpose.
When your mind wanders to unexpected places and you find yourself feeling an emotional response — What is it telling you? What was lacking in that moment? What did you needed? What was hurting? What needs healing? What questions are you left with unanswered?
What if I told you, your highest emotional need is connected to a question rooted deep in you. Often times, this question can be traced back to our family of origin, or childhood. Throughout our lives, we continue to ask this questions — unknowingly. This question is the driving force in our lives.
The Seven Primal Questions are connected to our apex emotional need. Our relationship with ourselves, others, our choices, and emotions are all driven from our highest need being answered with a “YES!” When we get a “no” or a “maybe” our lives can become quite the scramble.
When we are caught in a scramble of emotions. It’s important to pause. Get out of the tree branches. Identify the root.
What is the story your telling yourself about the experience?
Is it true?
Is it helpful?
Is it hurting you and your relationships more?
How can this experience serve you well moving into the future?
Have you grown through this process?
Leaning into the painful moments and the uncomfortable memories we can identify how those experiences can serve us well in the future. The pain can produce purpose and a new perspective we never saw coming.
Name the emotion, behavior, thoughts (these are the branches).
Push pass the emotions, behavior, thoughts and dig to the roots.
What did you need in the moment?
Did you need to feel:
Safe?
Secure?
Loved?
Wanted?
Successful?
Good Enough?
Purpose?
As you begin to understand your apex emotional need and identify your primal question. You will gain clarity and confidence to explore life (past, present, and future) with a new perspective.
Remember — there’s purpose in the pain.
You’re getting stronger. The world needs you.
Your experience can fuel positive change in the future.
